A person from the earliest childhood is surrounded by otherspeople. However, nevertheless, for many people contact with the society is often a source of problems. It would seem that if we constantly communicate with our environment, we should not have any fears for people. But for some reason, before public speeches, the need to hold important meetings on work and in a number of other similar situations, when we need to prove ourselves, it turns out that we are not ready for this. How to overcome your fear? How to become self-confident?
In some cases, fears can be explained by some kind ofpainful phenomena that affect the psyche, becoming the source of social phobias, when a person does not want to leave the house at all, is afraid of communicating with other people. But such cases are quite rare.
The situation is completely different whena person is healthy, but for certain reasons he experiences certain difficulties in social contacts. For example, people are confident in their own rightness, but they can not defend their point of view. Others do not know how to express feelings so that they are understandable to people close to them. Some, because of their own modesty and aggravated sense of tact, are afraid to establish contact with a person who is sympathetic to them. They seem to be restraining something from within, not allowing to build social relations. Someone depends on someone else's opinion, is afraid of evaluating views and therefore keeps all the time in the shadows, although secretly dreams of being a leader. Over time, such problems can lead to bitterness, resentment of the world and closure in the "case". Why is this happening? How to overcome the fear of communication?
The paradox is that avoiding communication in theto please one's own fears is not a protective mechanism. Only at first glance it seems that a closure in one's own world makes life more calm. In fact, this is not so.
Human nature is selfish. If the environment feels your fears, in most cases instead of help from it you can wait only for self-affirmation at the expense of "modest". Undoubtedly, there are units of Samaritans who are able to show sympathy and reach out if they see that someone needs it. But, as a rule, people are "predators". Therefore, you need to protect yourself from them yourself. So, how to overcome fear and fight back in a difficult situation?
Insecurity in many is brought up withchildhood: strict parents who do not understand the teacher do (albeit unconsciously) a lot to break the personality in the child, require submission. Fears live in most people.
You can overcome fear without resorting to external help. For this you will not need a psychologist, you can even do without the "vests" of friends and relatives.
For getting rid of fears and acquiringself-confidence will need to be trained (or practiced). Success in sports depends on muscle mass and skillfulness. Also, in normal life, training will be required to achieve success. Therefore, communicate as much as possible, even if you do not feel the need. Travel companions, shop assistants, neighbors - all can become "simulators" for developing your confidence and getting rid of fears. So you will soon understand how to overcome fear, and you will be able to cope with it.
In the process of communication, concentrate on yourthe interlocutor and his external behavior, without trying to understand what he thinks, how he perceives you, and what impression you make on him. You need to learn to focus on communicating with the outside, to forbid yourself "inner monologues-reasoning" that generates notorious fears. This will allow to see the reaction of the interlocutor, to understand what he means. In addition, so you can find inner balance and get rid of physiological problems when communicating (drying throat, stuttering, sweat on forehead) and psychological (you will not forget what to say, and get lost).
You can also resort to the tried and tested methodvisualization of their fears - make a written list, then burn it. It will become a psychological release from what has frightened you before. Only after gaining inner freedom and starting to communicate on an equal footing, you will understand how to overcome fear.